MISERY LOVES COMPANY - A POEM

MISERY LOVES COMPANY

A POEM

You don't know,
That feeling deep inside,
The one that makes you,
Cry without the tears.

And the seas were crying,
For life,
And the wind howled
For you,
To see the sun come rising up,
The misery of  life itself,
Coming up from the gallery.

And the sun sets on it all,
When the darkness comes a calling,
Will we see the light?

The howling of the misery,
Falling from the grace,
Tell the night to hold me,
To make it all seem right.

And the world keeps dancing on,
And on,
And on,
And my misery,
Keeps laughing in its face.
And when the morning sun is rising,
We'll be found,
Dancing in her grace.

Every day is a blessing,
A betterment of life,
Even when you're down,
You have to stand to see the sun,
A rising in the sky.

HOW I SAVED THE WORLD FROM AN ALIEN INVASION - or not!!! Stories from Area 51 and a half!!!

September 5th, 2018 - Louisville, Kentucky

Dear Reader, I decided to take a walk down to the Family Dollar store to buy tasty cheese burgers and spicy chicken sandwiches for dinner; it was a humid night but the walk helps me get my mind figured out as it has been a jumble of stuff lately.

As I walked; the usual hand out asking fellows approached me; pushing their hands out in front of me.

I try not to judge but being a broke ass fellow myself, I try to tell them to "Fuck off!" without using those actual words.

I have told my own story of being a homeless person in previous episodes; mostly I slept under a tree for a month and a half while working at a Safeway store; it was fun for about ten seconds but I wouldn't do it again unless some TV network wanted to pay me a million dollars to relive the excitement.

And even then I would want some hot co-stars to be announced later.

As I kept moving; I heard someone yelling towards me.

"Excuse me sir!" he said, approaching me, flipping his wallet out for me to inspect.

"My name is Rob, social security number ###-##-####!"

"Okay, hi Rob!!"

I was thinking I was being detained by a member of the Air Force in some weird sting operation.

"Could you help me in obtaining a meal?"

"Sorry sir, I'm living the dream myself!"

I would have continued my conversation with this fellow but soon he spotted another fellow; a man in a 'Latin Food Truck' and approached him, showing him his ID and repeating his social security number for some odd reason.

And that's how I saved the world from an alien invasion or something.

THE WIND AS SEEN BY LIFE - A BEAT POEM AS INSPIRED BY A READING

THE WIND AS SEEN BY LIFE - A BEAT POEM AS INSPIRED BY A READING

The wind swept through the lands; 

We were but ants spread against the shifting sands,

That life,

There,

Spread free, 

From the boat we ran,

Alive in our fight,

Some soon,

To be dead.

There was a silence among the ravens; the hills were bloodied; the spirits gone.

Who was standing against the rage?

The city lights burned brightly, 

Alley ways strewn with broken glass;

The business men;

High polished shoes;

Ties;

Catch the 4:45 to evening supper;

High,

In that blight;

I swim into the sea;

It is night;

Kings;

Flying free,

Degenerates in the flop;

Flipping off the man;

Smoking; 

Dusty roof tops;

The clock;

Tick

Tock!

A pawn shop; 

Down that street,

Falling downwards,

Into a spin,

I'm still walking;

Those electric youths;

Trying to find;

Themselves,

Falling backwards,

Into clockworks,

The gears of society,

Grinding them,

Into pieces,

Everyone was dead,

His soul was dead,

That soul,

Where did it go?

Plan man, getting on the plan, to see if I can find life; the fuck!

That is the plan; man; to fuck, to see, to get out, to get on, to fly into the sea!!

"Shit!!"

I was drinking with the brightest of the insane.

College students were pushed up against the wall; trying to kill those brain cells at $3.00 a shot.

"Fuck!"

The words slipped from his tongue before he realized what was going on.

A fist to his lips.

He dropped to the floor.

Wham!

Blam!

Was he dead yet?

Coke heads in the streets; trying to catch a cab to home.

"Screw off!" Sam yell; his unkempt hair sprawling off to all sides; the drivers flipped him off in return and then spat in his general direction as they sped off.

We were walking; the broken sidewalks tripped us every few steps with the chipped cement.

"We should go and see Sid, he's has the shit!!" Carl said; trying to catch himself in mid trip.

I nodded.

It was a mile and a half to Sid's place.

Fifth street.

Sid was a good clean kid but he sold the best stuff; whatever you needed he had.

We made it to his place; at his mom's house.

"He's in the back boys!" she said, smiling and went back to her rum and coke.

We moved back.

"Well boys, do we have a party?" Sid smiled and motioned to us.

We sat.

Two lines of cocaine for each.

Sleep.

Catch a break.

Silence.

Flee.

Feel.

Are we alive?

Madness,

Caught in the door,

Wandering through,

Fly,

High.

We found ourselves later; outside, down the street, trying to catch a cab.

They never stopped.

One of the few girls in the group drove by.

"Need a ride!" she giggled.

We all got in.

Movement.

Flying still,

That road,

Underneath,

Trying to make us fall,

From that Lord's grace...

"Are you okay Johnny?" I heard her saying, shaking me from some awful dream.

I felt okay; lying there in some drug induced sleep; booze infested sores inside my brain trying to move outside, to take over that scene.

I could smell her sex; and my own body tried to respond.

"Pervert!" she giggled, slapping me teasingly.

Call out;

Oh sinners of the streets,

Your fleeing moments,

Ripe to be plucked,

To be thrown into the muck,

If we do not die tonight,

May we live for tomorrow!

I told her that I loved her; she was my only light.

"I love you more!" she replied, smiling, almost laughing in evil delight.

I couldn't feel my body but still there I stood; looking into her face, into her soul.

The wind,

As seen by life,

To be felt,

Till tomorrow,

Which shall never come,

Today will never end...

WHATEVER DOESN'T KILL YOU - A look into a demented writer's head

Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you wish you were dead. 

Anyone else having issues with their life?

Yeah, me neither.

So here I am, sitting, wondering, looking, early morning, I'm usually not up at this hour writing, but it seems like a good thing to do, to push the poison from the system and release into the world.

Angry pelicans on the streets of LA, looking for a fix, or tuna, or maybe a halibut,

Maybe in another life, I could be someone awesome, instead of this, whatever I am.

Planets align, then drift back away, trying to find center of nowhere, which, if you think about it, is near impossible.

It's 6:53 in the morning, few people wander about, looking for egg and sausage biscuit sandwiches and a large orange juice, somewhere, someplace, people laugh, drinking strong coffee, waiting for the sun to rise.

Misery loves company.

So they say.

I reach up, stretch, trying to grab space, to pull myself up, emotionally, Heaven seems so far away.

I fail.

I might go for a walk; to watch, to see, to hear, to feel the ground beneath my feet...

Trapped in the dark when the lights are on - A POEM

Trapped in the dark when the lights are on - A POEM

Standing alone in the rain,
That feeling,
Lost happiness,
Fleeing on the ground.

There,
Somewhere,
Trapped,
Feeling alone,
In a room full of people,
All celebrating you.

Humanity lost,
To that humanity,
Trapped in the dark,
When the lights are on.

Some people,
Lost,
When the map is fully opened,
Drifting,
Through a maze,
Of confusion,
Begging for forgiveness,
When there's nothing to forgive.

When will this madness stop,
Oh lord,
How can I go on when my on is gone?

Down that road,
Wandering forward,
As I move backwards,
Seeing through the fog,
As I am blind,
Lost in that madness,
Wearing a mask,
He must be happy,
See,
He's smiling.

Satin Sheet on a Nail Bed - A Bar Fiction

The breeze was soft; like satin sheets on a nail bed.

"You ole sunuvabitch, how youse been?" Ole Charley said from the bar door, holding it open for me as I slowly marched down the side walk, heading home from work.

"I've been better!" I said, making a detour to a stool, next to the old beaten bar.

Ole Charley was dying, like we all were, but he'd be dying sooner rather than later, the consumption eating up his lungs, the mine had killed him before he ever decided to retire at 42.

"Damn boss man came in here, thinking he was going to get a brew!" he growled. "I knocked him flat on his ass!! And got three rounds of cheers from the bar!"

I laughed.

The jukebox was playing a sad song, something about a lover dumping them for a chicken lover or a rooster sucker.

I ordered a beer, three, two of them chased with a whiskey.

The bar was filled with the usual misfits; old men drinking their liver into a stupor.  Funny men hiding from their wives, all killing their pay checks on whiskey and beer before their wives found out.

A few wives were here and there, deciding it was easier to join rather than battle, their own livers being killed off.

A homeless man was there, a traveler who got stuck here back in 1979.

He worked some of the stores; sweeping the side walks of the leaves, dirt and dust that came rolling down from the Hill.

In the winter, he'd disappear for those months, too cold to find a sleep, when it was time.

"I head down to the heat..." he winked when asked where he went for his winter vacation. "I like the heat but you people make me laugh, so I come back in the spring!"

There was always a drunken fight, later on in the night, Tom Sheldon, the sheriff, would break it up, buy the combatants a drink, pat each on the back and say in his deep voice, "Be good and the rounds are on me!!"

Two years ago; the town was a buzz, Mickey Malone, a drunk and a crude human being, was shot to death right at the corner there by his mistreated wife.

"He beat me every night!" she growled, the gun still in her hand.

She got off with a warning never to do that again.

Tonight was a quiet night, just an argument over who had the best football team; everyone knew it was West High followed by them losers over at East.

"Last call!" the bartender yelled and we all laughed.

There was never a last call; 24 hours, as the mines ran, as the prostitutes did down the "Block".

There was talk, every election year, to make this town a better place; shut down the brothels, curb the bars to close at 2 am, not opened on Sunday, that would be church time, but the miners, a rugged bunch, wouldn't hear it.

"We need something to do between shifts!" they growled at the reverend who thought he could tame the Hill.

He got ran out by the train tracks.

"Go back east you cock fool!!!"

And we went back to drinking.

DEPRESSION IN A LITTLE BOTTLE - BROKEN LITTLE DOLL UP ON THE SHELF

DEPRESSION IN A LITTLE BOTTLE - A BROKEN LITTLE DOLL UP ON SHELF

Have you ever felt worthless, a loser, a broken toy just tossed up on the shelf, to sit and rot away into dust?

Have you ever felt the pain of loss, to never see that shining face again, never to hear that voice, telling you it will be okay, even when thousands tell you the same thing?

Every song you hear makes you want to cry, to crawl into a hole and pull that hole inside with you, to want to wander off this mortal plane, the only thing keeping you here is those who would be hurt by that action, a simple but complicated thing, to toss aside your life, to not hear those beloved cries.

To give up, that most precious gift, to lose that grip on what makes you see the light, to feel that darkness seeping up from the pit of your soul, to hear the anger building in your mind, to feel nothing but that pain.

I keep trying to live for the day but my mind decides to wander off into the dark corners, to shiver there, to feel like the broken toy that I am, I try to live happily and get kicked in the teeth by the world.

I feel like that broken little doll up on the shelf, the one that nobody wants.

Good night world, maybe I will dream about better times and will wake up happy.

To feel that wind beneath my wings, to see the horizon, the dawn breaking, the glorious colors of the dawn breaking, to hear that sweet song from the birds of paradise, to believe again, that life will be better, for the truth, for the reality, not just some dream.

I grab my pillow, pull the blanket close to me, feeling sleep coming over me, that darkness, to comfort me, hopefully I will sleep sweetly, to again, dream of better things, to taste the sweet wines of Heaven, to hear the choir sing beautifully, in harmony, to embrace me in their wings, though, I would not want to wake, to this reality, who others say is not that bad, to smile, but what if I don't want to smile, to not laugh, that fake laugh that others seem to believe is that reality?

I still sit here, writing this letter, not knowing if I want to share it to the world, it seems a depressing folly, almost a suicide letter to that world which isn't that bad, I have seen worse.

I still sit here, wondering, listening to the quiet of the darkened room, to hear the nothingness which is peaceful, contrary to those who say, you should surround yourself with everyone.

Everyone is madness, just ask the masses, to hear the many voices screaming inside your head, to rip out your eyes so you can truly see everything as it was meant to be seen.

Dear depression, you gnarly beast, you dearly fuck, go away, bother someone else this night.

So here I sit, writing, listening to my mind, it wanting to scream, but it sulks in silence, good night my dear world.

Dear Depression, go fuck yourself!

Memories - POEM

Memories slide into the brain,
Seeping into that dream,
Majestically impending doom,
Seeping into the life,
And there I stood,
Frozen there,
In that spot,
Trying to move,
Legs done melted.

I felt her spirit leave me,
Her body lifeless,
I could not feel my own limbs,
I felt my own soul wanting to leave.

Memories,
Like a sharp knife,
Ripping into flesh,
Tearing out the rest,
Corrupting the good,
In the mind's eyes,
Tears roll from my eyes,
Memories.

Here I sit,
Years roll by,
Tears still flow by,
Memories,
To follow me
As I walk this road
Called life,
Memories...

An ode to a War Long Done Fought - A POEM

Note to self: every night, I try to settle down and write a few words, to clear the mind and then, I hit publish, just so the world knows to stay away from me as I am slowly going insane since 1971.

My mind began to wander away as soon as I cleared the womb and has been gaining speed in that runaway since seeing the edge of daylight!

So here I sit, in a comfy chair, the TV playing, I don't know what I will write tonight, my mind comes closer to me, wanting to think and make me wonder where I am going from here.

Possibly New Jersey.

So here I go, to write!

AN ODE TO A WAR LONG DONE FOUGHT - A POEM

There in the silence of night,

I swore that I could see the devil's eyes gazing into my soul,

The bombs dropped from the air,

Exploding around us,

The screams of the men,

Torn away from their bodies,

To be thrown into the ground,

The war would end for them,

A blessed cross,

A draped flag,

There,

On that bloody ground,

But for us,

The living,

We marched into the fray,

Our guns held high against an enemy,

We could not see,

Brothers in humanity,

We marched forward,

Kill,

Death,

We heeded the call,

Held the cause,

Closely to our hearts,

The Father Land needed us,

To be that blood upon the ground,

Forward, 

March,

Die,

Kill,

We continued forward,

To take the ground,

To give the ground,

To become the ground.

The living,

Dead inside,

Nightmares of those falling bombs,

Those guns,

Their mind,

Their worst enemies!

Their souls drenched,

They dare not sleep,

Perchance to dream,

Of long dead,

War, 

That,

In a never ending stream,

Will still haunt,

Their memories!

And there,

In a dream,

A scene,

A dove does scream,

And awake,

My solider boy,

To live again,

To breathe...

10 Best Places to die Happy -- or not!

So these lists; best places to eat, best places to find love, etc. seemingly get the views when it comes to blogging so in an attempt to garner more views for this blog and maybe make a nickel or ten, I have decided to write my own top ten lists!!

This time, the blog will be called

10 BEST PLACES TO DIE HAPPY! (Or not!!!)

And for some listening pleasure, Talking Heads - Psycho Killer because why the hell not, so sit back, put your feet up and enjoy the read.

Next time, we'll have the 10 best comic books to bring into a men's restroom in Cleveland, Ohio!!!

The criteria for this was based on many scales ----

1. Was it able to be Googled by the blogger at the time of the writing of this article. If so, could Blogger remember how to spell it?

2. Would it be funny in reference to death as a humorous topic? If so, it made the list!

3. Was it featured on a 60 minutes segment for such a thing as having horrible nursing homes, etc? If so, HELLO LIST!!!

So here you go!!!!

---1--- Centralia PA : A coal fire has been burning underground since at least the early 1960s!! What says, "HELLO!! I'M READY TO DIE!!" than a coal fire.  The town has been almost completely abandoned so no need to worry about over crowding.

---2--- Rachel NV: Aliens!!! Area 51!!! What more do I have to say! If you don't die from a laser rifler then you can be abducted and brought aboard the mother ship. Won't your mother be so f*ckin happy!??

According to their website, the gas station is closed and the nearest one is about 50 miles south. Plan accordingly!

---3--- Cincinnati OH:  Okay, first off, Cleveland rocks but Cinncy is where it is at, there's an abandoned subway system that was planned over a 100 years ago but never used, where, if you lucky, you could crawl into and die!!!

There's also a zoo! Win - Win!! Also, go to Cleveland and tell em I sent you for 50 cents off a burrito!! 

---4--- Butte MT:  First off, I must disclose that the blogger is from this fine town, so when it is time for him to die, he will make his way back here to take his last breath and his final words being,
"Wha?"  

You can also come check out a huge open pit that is filling with toxic water!! Best lake ever!!!!

---5--- Niagara Falls NY: Wanna go over the falls in a barrel? Who doesn't!! Come on, go old school and die in a barrel!!!!

DO IT YOUR WAY!!!! Growl like Sid Vicious!!!!! Or not!!!!!

---6--- Any Podunk Town USA: Does it have a liquor store and a Walmart? You have found paradise, may you live forever in this wonderment that is Heaven!!

What? Don't believe me? DIE NOW!!!!

---7--- Paris TX : If you can't make it to Paris, France, there's always Paris, Texas (along with other cities in the U.S. named Paris!!!) There's even a replica of the Eiffel Tower!! Enjoy your death without leaving the country!!! 

Now for some interlude music - RAMONES - I WANNA BE SEDATED!!!!!  

---8--- Truth or Consequences NM : Ever wanted to die in a town renamed for a popular radio show in the 1950s? Who hasn't!!  Tell them The Shadow sent you to be ran out of town by angry town folks!!!

They also have some hot springs. 

---9--- Trenton NJ: What list wouldn't be complete without Trenton. Smell the magic should be their motto as well as "So ya wanna die? Come to Trenton!! We got you covered!!" Tell them you think they have pretty eyes and get a free drink of your choice!!

---10--- Fresno CA:  And coming in at number 10, the city that needs no introduction as it has been on many a fine lists, FRESNO CALIFORNIA, home of the famous news agency THE LESBIAN LUNCH and the fine toy maker company, RASBO!!  

People of Fresno will welcome you with open arms and a bottle of Jack Daniel.

No wait, that's a different city in Kentucky!!! But still, Fresno is a good place to go to die!!!

So there you have it, the top ten places to die happy. Or not. 

So good night and have a better tomorrow!!!!!

AND IN THAT END, WE HEARD THE SHOTS - A Poem

A new reality, there inside my mind, whispers in the wind, a new secondary life, swept among the rapids of society, tossed away, thrown away, giving up on, freedom is just a phase.

2029 - All human life is estranged.

"Where are we now?" cried the masses, one by one, trying to see out of the train.

There were no answers.

"We the people..."

We are machines, plowing through the dirt, the earth, to return to that earth, someday.

We all fear that day, constantly looking over our shoulders, marching to that end, step by step, the wind blowing into our face, slowing our ventures.

"March!" the guns pressed into our back.

There, into the Grace of God, we go, to line up against that wall, our shame, our blood, to be spilled on the ground, shot down as animals, to hear that last roar, the bullets ripping into our flesh, we are called dogs, we are called animals, but still we stand tall.

We feared that this day would come soon.

We were warned that it would come soon.

But we dared not listen, to fear, that end, to slip into the sweet waters and drown our fears, to be held by that river's embrace, no man could harm us, no man dared.

None of God's children could be slaves.

We were free.

We could not be sad here, in this place, a refuge from the cursed war, but here, we stood, against a hard, cutting wall, the soldiers, glaring, sneering, their rifles raised.

This was the end.

"Ready..."

The Sargent called out.

Some of us cried.

Some closed their eyes; to hope and pray, to wake from this nightmare.

Others held their heads high. 

"We shall meet again..." old men said, trying to calm the others.

"Aim..."

The end was close; near, our blood, oh God, save us from this fear.

"Soon!" a voice said, there, in our mind.

"Fire!"

And in that word, we heard the shots fired and then nothing...